Big Apple...in our throats

We'll come home from New York tomorrow and get an off day to try and swallow that large fruit before we choke to death on it. The Bucs will then venture into a six game series against the Texas Rangers and Chicago White Sox. If the Pirates can't manage to go at least .500 in those six games, it will prove...well, it will prove that they suck, which we already know. Seriously though, if you can't beat Texas, who can you beat? A look at the upcoming homestand, for those masochists out there:

Texas at a glance:

This team is truly inept. Every starter in the rotation has an ERA over 6.00 and a WHIP of at least 1.55. That's a lot of legs running the bases. Texas pitchers have given up at least five runs in 40 games this season, including 14 of the last 16. Snell and Gorzelanny will pitch games two and three, and they have more quality starts this season than the entire Texas team.

As far as hitting goes, they have Mark Teixeira, Sammy Sosa...and their third best hitter is either Gerald Laird or Ian Kinsler, who hit nine home runs in the first three weeks of the season and is hitting .200 since. Sosa, Teixeira, and Laird are also the only three players hitting well (.750 OPS and .270 AVG or better) on the road.

The Rangers played our mirror image, Houston, in the first round of interleague play, and won two of three, though Brandon McCarthy pitched (who we wont see) and a pre-implosion Robinson Tejada pitched as well (I'll explain that later). This is exactly the kind of series where we could win all three 30-3, lose all three 30-3, or anything in between.

Tuesday: Zach Duke vs. Kevin Millwood

Duke has been pretty damn awful this season, and his numbers are still better than at least 2/5ths of the Texas rotation. Millwood started the season...in rather mediocre fashion (5.88 ERA, 1.73WHIP, 26:15 K/BB in 33.2 IP) before going on the DL at the end of April. He came back in mid-May and got tagged for two innings before going back on the DL. In two starts since returning, Millwood has been even worse (8.2IP, 19H, 14R, 11ER, 3HR, 4BB, 7K).

Wednesday: Ian Snell vs. Kameron Loe

I really don't need to go on about Snell. He's been pretty effing good all year. Kameron with a K has been the Anti-Snell. He was moved to the from the bullpen to the rotation three weeks into the season and has been bad across the board (53.2IP, 72H, 50R, 46ER, 8HR, 18BB, 30K, 7.72 ERA, 1.68 WHIP). There's really no details to give - he isn't fooling anybody.

Thursday: Tom Gorzelanny vs. Robinson Tejada
Gorzelanny has probably been left in too long in his last two starts, laboring in the 7th inning (mostly due to also laboring in the first inning). In spite of that, his numbers are still top notch, and against a relatively thin lineup like this one, he should be able to succeed. Tejada has been a very strange case. Observe this split of his performance:

1st 6 starts: 3-2, 3.89 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 7HR, 27K, 10BB in 37 innings
2nd 6 starts: 2-4, 9.99 ERA, 2.04 WHIP, 6HR, 21K, 20BB in 27 innings

Is this the league catching up with him? It certainly would seem that way. Further evidence to support that claim: he has faced two teams twice this season, the Yankees and Athletics. He has done as follows:

1st outings: 12.2 IP, 15H, 6R, 6ER, 2HR, 1BB, 12K
2nd outings: 6.2 IP, 10H, 11R, 11ER, 2HR, 7BB, 1K

Looks like he fools hitters at first, but not for long.

On the other hand, Millwood still strikes batters out,and any pitcher who can fool hitters at all usually has some success against us. So who knows?


Chicago at a glance:

The White Sox aren't very different than us, either. The Sox were 24-20 when they had a game rained out against Tampa on May 26th. Since then, they are 2-12 and have been outscored 86-37 in that span (1-7, 47-23 in their last eight). Chicago's worst starter has been John Danks, who has posted a 4.38 ERA, 1.54 WHIP, and a 44:26 K/BB ratio in 61 innings.

So it must be Chicago's hitting that is crap, right? You guessed it. Jim Thome is the only regular starter with an OPS above .725, with an overall OPS above one, but only .837 in 18 games since coming off the DL.

The Sox have 10 players with at least 100 at-bats. Two of them, Darin Erstad and Joe Crede, are on the DL and will not play against the Pirates (though neither was doing particularly well anyways, posting OPS's of .652 and .576, respectively). Their replacements are Jerry Owens, Chicago's very own Chris Duffy, and Josh Fields, the stud 3B who was being blocked by Crede. Fields hit .283 with 10 HR, 37 RBI, and an .891 OPS in 56 games before being called up Thursday. We'll see how quickly he adjusts in the bigs.

The other eight? Tad Iguchi extended his hit streak to 10 games today and is hitting .381 in that span, and Thome now has a seven game streak where he is hitting .320. During that same 10 game span, Konerko is the only other starter hitting better than .250. Rob Mackowiak is their leadoff hitter, fer chrissakes.

Basically: Owens=Duffy, Uribe=Wilson, Konerko=LaRoche, Pierzynski=Paulino (with better D), Iguchi=Sanchez circa '06, Dye=Nady, Mackowiak=Bautista.

I'm not even going to bother with the pitching matchups. Barring significant change, it's Maholm, Chacon, and Duke against Jon Garland, Mark Buerhle, and Javier Vazquez. We could very easily win all three of these games, or lose all three and only get outscored 8-4.

Fearless prediction for the homestand? 1-5.